What’s cracking? The Instagram Egg.
An egg. An egg is as good a subject for an article as a blank page. An egg is a nothing, and yet it could be everything. An egg is Schrödinger’s cat — neither bearing life nor infertile. An egg is Kandinsky’s perfect shape, a circle — containing everything and nothing, neither beginning nor ending, lacking any angle but containing a myriad of tiny angles at the same time. An egg is Malevich’s Black Square — neither a complete mystery nor a mere wallpaper. An egg is an awkward stuttering word, so perfect when surrounded by an orchestra of context.
An egg. An egg has triumphantly marched all the way from peasant food to influencer’s brunch porn. It reincarnated from Faberge royalty into Jeff Koons’ broken modernity. It talked itself down all the way from a biblical symbol to Humpty Dumpty ridicule. Do you remember the egg scene in Runaway Bride? We cry-laughed at Julia Roberts’ character not knowing her favorite way to have eggs, — a metaphor for life uncertainty, no less. We marveled at Björk’s egg-laying swan costume on the red carpet and called it the worst, possibly iconic, definitely stupid, the best. We made egg a symbol of our most sacred holidays, and of the junkiest, most commercial children’s delight.
And now there is Egg-stagram, and the The Egg-ternet of Things is probably on its way. What is the meaning of egg??
An egg. In case you’re losing your mind here, quick update: last week a stock photo of a brown egg took Kylie Jenner’s crown of the most liked Instagram picture. And a few days ago, an unexpected development: the account posted another picture of the egg, a seemingly an identical one, but with a hardly noticeable crack. The egg is cracking, literally. All while remaining anonymous, the authors of world_record_egg have created suspense of the decade, equal to that of the US election results, or at least of Meghan Markle’s wedding dress design. I, personally, catch myself trying to envision that Instagram account a few weeks into the future, with the egg fully cracked, revealing its contents — and I’m certainly not alone.
An egg… What could we hope to see inside? A lesser theory: Kris Jenner is having a good laugh at her daughter’s expense, but we will ignore that one. Humanity is (obviously) capable of greater deeds. Inside might as well be a Russian 15 y/o hacker — because why not. Or the marketing team of London’s Sketch club, gone on an award-grabbing, attention-seeking, PR-generating promo for its egg-shaped toilet cabins. Or maybe it’s just Banksy, trying to out-prank his own shredding precedent.
An egg!!! Its ambassador in the virtual land of Instagram is generating dozens of likes and followers per second, all while having simply and shamelessly asked for it. Isn’t that a telltale in itself? We are being made fun of, and we’re sponsoring it. We have been paving the way for the Instagram-egg rock-bottom for a while now, and boy was it a glorious ride… Anyone deserves to live. Anyone can vote. Anyone can have a dream. Anyone can love anyone. Anyone can get famous. Anything can get a like…
An egg? This egg better be for a good cause. With more followers than Green Peace and Airbnb put together, it could raise awareness of the global warming, or the housing bubble, or the need for a new democratic model, or everything at the same time. The question is, how does one react in the face of an egg? Among the crowds of scandalized and bewildered I chose silent, hopeful, observant participation. The egg will receive all of my social media potential, from all the three mediocre to relatively cool Instagram accounts, and my devoted attention. I will patiently wait for the egg to reveal its insides, and for humanity not to let me down. After all, Schrödinger’s cat is just a quantum physics comix and it is us, humans, choosing whether the creature is alive or dead.
